Brian Lux - author
Every Cat has its Day
(Flair News)
She lay back on the bed surprised at how relaxed she felt, just the slight raised beat of her heart betraying the adrenaline still circulating. Searching eyes scrutinised the extended fingers on one hand- not a tremble in any digit.
Leaning over, she picked up the bedside phone and tapped in the numbers. As it shrilled its demands a cigarette was extracted from a crumpled packet, lit with a lighter, and she inhaled deeply.
“Hello, Sue, Is that you? Course it’s me. Who did you think it was? I know it’s a bit late- just needed to chat. So how’s your Jim? Still in the same job?”
She nodded as the conversation continued, the cigarette burning brightly in her fingers as she concentrated on her friend’s voice.
“My Bert?” She glanced momentarily at the form by her side. “Still the same slob, with a beer gut, beer face and beer smell. Whatever happened to those slim guys we married? Drinking was far more important to that lazy bastard. Did I really say ‘was,’ Sue? Sorry. Slip of the tongue.
Did you know I’d kicked him out recently? That’s right. He was on his tod again after I caught him red-handed with that flighty bitch he calls his personal secretary. Not that I think she gives him personal services, having seen her. I think she’s happy to service any man she fancies.
Anyway, you know the Homespun Hotel in Arnston? That’s right, about twenty miles from here. Well, a little bird with a man’s voice phoned to tell me he was having a working weekend there. I reckon it was some jealous guy at the office.
So I put on my best dress, had my hair done, nails trimmed and polished, make-up done. You should have seen me, Sue. Though I say it myself, I looked a million dollars, and felt it too when I drove to the hotel. Wish you’d been there when I made my entrance. I felt like a queen as I stoodin the dining room looking for them. Didn’t take me long. Spotted her at once, one hand playing with her long blonde hair, the other stroking his face.
He had his back to me as I walked to their table. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he looked like death. Sue! The whole room was quiet, everyone looking our way. I was centre stage and loving every minute of it.
‘Hello, darling,’ I said. ‘Fancy meeting you here. I thought you were at a conference in Leicester. Or were you conferring with tart-face here?’
He mumbled something and she began to cry. I knew what to do when I saw the first course on the table in front of them.
‘Must go, have a lot to do. Do enjoy your meal, both of you.’ I smiled and stroked his thick head of hair, then took firm hold of his carefully combed and very expensive wig. I could hear people gasping as I slowly placed it in the centre of his bowl or soup. It looked like an island in a sea of minestrone. Do you know, Sue, as I sashayed out of the room, a few people began clapping, and soon they were all at it, applauding.
Lover boy phoned next morning and begged: yes he begged me to give him another chance. Cried he did.
Have I forgiven him? Let’s just say every cat has its day and a leopard doesn’t change its spots. He came back tonight pissed out of his mind. Told me how sexy I looked, with my wrinkle-prevention stuff slapped on.
I told him to sleep in the other room until he cooled down. But he wouldn’t, Sue, and tried to force himself on me. That’s when I flipped.
Must go now, the door bell’s ringing. It’ll be the police. I phoned them afterwards. I feel very relaxed knowing he’ll never bother me again. Bye now. Speak to you soon.”